Today, i got a dream..............its not that i wont get dreams daily!! But its something special......special not because it has anything to do with V day. Even though the dream was big and i cant recollect it fully, one thing just remained fresh even after i got up from my bed. I got one special person in my dream...i dont remember whether i used to get scared or not in my childhood if i see any devils in my dreams...but this fellow has got more influence on me. This fellow is not leaving me even in my dreams, not just in office and my room. He has got a special niche to irritate me to the core!! If any one asks me for the definition of cunningness or jealousy or domineering, I'll just show him. He is just a manifestation of all these three great qualities. I'll reserve explaining about his special abilities rather to some other post...this blog is not intended for that.

There is nothing unusual then for me to get highly irritated because i didn't know that it was just a dream when i was dreaming. When i'm about to get irritated and lose my temper, exactly at that time something magical has happened. I just got a revelation that it's just my decision whether to lose my temper or not and at that moment i decided not to get angry. Why should i get angry because of foolishness of someone else?? I know how bad i feel whenever i get angry......it really hurts a lot and a lot!! Some times i feel fully tired and exhausted after such episodes of anger....then why should i waste so much of my energy for useless things. Others have done some foolish or some selfish acts or something which hurts me....it doesn't mean that i should hurt myself more as an act of reciprocation. Then suddenly i decided, yes i'm not going to get angry this time. I was really peaceful, i was more awakened and more aware of my emotions....i could just see the transition between the two states. There was just a narrow line between ourself having control over ourself and our emotions and getting affected by emotions. When in transition we have more freedom as to which side we want to move or keep ourself. But once we cross that border line and enter into the state of emotion, we may really have little left for our control and we just can hope to come to normal just at the mercy of emotion or we need to spend very high amount of energy to cross that barriers of transition to come to normal state. I just felt like i have got more control over my anger and other emotions. I just don't know how much really it can be kept in practice, but i'll surely try for that atleast